Michelangelo (looking puzzled)
Wait a minute. A camera? Do you mean like camera obscura ?
But that cannot be. This thing (examines the tiny camera, rolling it around on his palm) is so small. (looks up) And what do you mean by "wireless?" What wires? Where is Da Vinci when you need him? Never mind, I'm happier without his snooty nose stuck into this business.
Newkirk
I know it must be very disorienting to see new technology like this, but my advice is to simply accept these things, learn how to use them if necessary, and ignore what you don't need. Trust me, it's how most of us cope today. Otherwise, we'll be here forever, talking about the history of modern technology.
Picasso
It's not just you, my friend. I've never seen these things either.
Newkirk (nodding to Picasso)
That's right ... so much has happened in this field since the 1960s. Even today, the pace of change is so fast that it seems unless you're a teenager, or even younger, you have to work at keeping up with all the new developments. A lot of older people are finding this to be quite a struggle. Anyway, if you can accept that this thing is a camera capable of recording live motion as well as still images and sound, and can transmit that information anywhere in the world ... well, it just might make things easier.
Michelangelo (shaking his head)
Ah. It's all too much. Very well, I'll try to do as you say; but if we (indicates the others) need to know how to operate something ...
Newkirk
... I'll be glad to show you what I know, which in many cases will be inadequate, but we'll manage. What I want to know is why this camera is here, and who is using it.
MEANWHILE, IN A SMALL, WINDOWLESS ROOM, SOMEWHERE IN THE ROME ...
What's wrong with camera 17? The screen has gone blank.
I don't know, Guido. I just got in. Was it black when you arrived?
Marchese
I was concentrating on balancing my cornetto and coffee when I unlocked the door, so I'm not sure. I think so. Here, I brought yours too (passes coffee and pastry to the other man). The night team must've left early, lazy bums – nobody here when I came in. Check the list Paolo. What location does 17 cover?
Bandone
Uh, just a sec ... (runs a finger down the column of place names). Yeah, here it is. That one is in the Sistine Chapel.
Marchese
Cazzo. We'll have to call the Swiss Guards. Those guys can be such pricks. Let's have a quick look at what we've got before the camera crapped out. Go back to 10 minutes before the last time index.
Bandone (locates camera 17 on his keyboard, taps the reverse feed button, and a few seconds later, flickering images appear on the formerly black screen - taps stop, then play forward, then stop) What's that thing?
Marchese (stands behind Bandone and looks over his shoulder at the still image on the screen; puzzled, he scratches his head) If I didn't know better, I'd say it's ... nah. Couldn't be. This is the Sistine Chapel for god's sake.
Bandone
What? What do you think you see? Whatever it is, it's right against the lens, and it's metallic and shiny.
Marchese
You ever join the fencing club at school, or at the academy? I swear that looks like the tip of one of the swords they have hanging all over the place. Go back another ten minutes, will you? There, stop there. Who are those guys? I count one close to the camera and four others near the centre of the chapel. How'd they get in there before the tours start? Can you bring up their faces?
(Within moments, five faces appear on the screen. Bandone proceeds to enhance and sharpen the images. He leans back, runs a hand through his hair and whistles a single note.)
Bandone
Look at this. Holy shit, it's true. I wouldn't have believed it if I weren't looking at it with my own eyes. I don't recognize this one (points to Newkirk's face) but these others? ... Unless somebody is into some elaborate impersonation scheme, that is Pablo Picasso - of that I'm sure.
Marchese
But Picasso's been dead for years. You're shitting me, no?
Bandone
Nope – these three are supposed to be dead too. Better sit down, Guido. That ... that is, oh jeez, I can't believe what I'm about to say ... that is Michelangelo Buonarroti (Marchese gasps), this is Raffaello Sanzio, and this is Gian Lorenzo Bernini. I may not be a swordsman, but I'm into this stuff, art history – always have been. I'd know those faces anywhere.
Marchese
My god.(falls back into his chair) I thought somebody at headquarters was pulling my leg. Got a memo last week – very high security clearance – that said a number of famous artists had been reported in Venice last fall, and that now they were showing up here. The memo said that many of these artists had long since been considered dead. They offered no explanation. Then yesterday another memo arrived saying that some of these artists had been reported missing. How the hell can you be missing if you've been dead for five hundred years? Who's reporting them missing? It's insane. (pauses, then decisively) You must be wrong Paolo. We've gotta run these faces through every data base we can access. I'm sure as hell not reporting that Michelangelo is alive and well and in the Sistine Chapel. Impossible. Impossible! (another thoughtful pause) Oh, my god ... this is why you were assigned here. You know art history – it must be in your file that you're some kind of expert, so they wanted you on this. Come on, let's see what we can find out. (opens a filing drawer) Where the hell did I put those memos?
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